I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
