I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
