me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
