so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
