I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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