i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
