Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
