Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
