Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
