We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
