My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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