but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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