I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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