I want to stick my p in your. b.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
