she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
now i know why i became what i already was.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
