Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
