no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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