And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
