I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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