People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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