so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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