i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize