She announced her abortion via fbk
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
