I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
