i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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