nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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