You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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