Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
