Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize