shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My pussy is not your playground.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
please don't ironically join a cult
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