So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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