i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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