If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
