Yo dont text me then not text me
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
