I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
did you just send me my own nude
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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