i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
