walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
