I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
