OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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