just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it glows. i had to have it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize