Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
