So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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