It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
whose parrot is this?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize