His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
