Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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