just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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