well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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