Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize