hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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