Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
