Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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