I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
