So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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