i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
