I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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