I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
