soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
