I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
