I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
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