they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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