Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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