Joe is yelling at the trees again.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
