Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
soo... how was my night?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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