Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
