If that was your dad, he is hot
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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