New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
it's great music for shaving your balls
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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