Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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