By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
