O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
