Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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