exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
