Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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