I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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