Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
