You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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